I am a Simple man

June 30, 2011 in Sarcasm

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I am a simple man and I have a very simple life. All my life I  have searched for ways to complicate my life  and finally I was successful. It all began when I embarked on a journey to stupid land of stupid RND labs (I am trying to be sarcastic =>  if you don’t get what I am saying). Basically I went to attend IR workshop organized by yahoo! labs. Although I couldn’t figure out what do these yahoo people do to earn money and more importantly what the hell is IR , I still decided to attend the workshop. My companions on this bon voyage were

1. The crazy dude a.k.a Bhikari

2. The desperate dude a.k.a. Devdas/Paranoid

3. The angry dude a.k.a. BigB

4. The mature dude a.k.a. Bihari

5. The emotional female dude a.k.a. Volcano

The paranoid was the first one to put his characteristics on display. We had a catch a flight for banglore / bengaluru which was scheduled to depart at 6:30 am. In order to catch that flight , the paranoid made us reach the airport at 3:00 am !!!

Anyways we waited for about 3 hours in general lounge where the crazy dude went bersek. Some of the crazy things he did are

1. Changed clothes in a cab. He wasn’t alone in the cab.

2. Started playing with the info board in airport like an apeman.

3. He forgot that chairs are used for sitting. Instead choose a trolley for this purpose.

4. Forgot what last call for the boarding means. Hopefully , we reminded him about that in time.

As  if the crazy dude wasn’t enough , the Bihari started showing his colours. Have you ever seen a 5 year old observe a laptop or something he hasn’t seen before? Lets denote that expression by “awe”. The Bihari observed everything inside the airport even the floor, the walls , the girls etc. with super “awe” expression on his face. Though we reached at the airport 3:30 before the scheduled departure time , he still managed to leave his phone at the check-in counter. A feat that can be achieved only by our very own Bihari.

Even after encountering the frantic activities of  The Bihari and The crazy dude , the entourage managed to get on the flight. There was some ugly dispute about who gets the window seat. Since I don’t want to start a controversy by saying that  ” men are a disadvantaged section of the society ” , I choose not to describe it here. We got onto the flight. The last thing I remember before falling asleep was the sexy, sultry airhostess demonstrating how to use the oxygen mask in case of turbulence. Then I slept till we were 3 minutes away from Bengaluru. Then there were a series of uninteresting events. Finally we arrived at IISc. Here I have to express my gratitude towards the crazy dude’s galaxy’s gps. Without it our journey would have been so mysterious. But I would also like to mention Bihari’s comment ” GPS is very useful. GPS with the crazy dude is just useful.”.

Then there were string of events in Banglore which all boiled down to one conclusion ” I have a very bad timing !”. In order to support my hypothesis , I will highlight some keynote features

1. The event organizer had strange colored eyes. So I used to call her “Bhuri Aakhon wali”. And every single time I mentioned her in my conversation , she was either standing right behind or beside me.

2. The crazy dude was telling us about his old age dream of how he and his wife would go for walks everyday. Thats when I shouted , ” Just like budha-budhiya”. And lo behold, there was an elderly couple sitting right beside me.

There was also an event when the volcano erupted but I suppose the paranoid would describe that event in one of his blog.

So at after spending 6 days in various halls across IISC sleeping or chatting or talking etc. came to an end. We boarded a train named “DURANTO EXPRESS”. I still can’t understand what the hell this name means. Anyways Fedrer lost and I am PISSED!!!!!!!!!!

I will just skip to the most important part of the journey by train. Since we were bored we decided to have a conversation. In order to start a group discussion we needed a topic. Thats where our master debater (P.S. pun intended) i.e. Bihari came to our rescue. For discussion , he pointed out two questions on which discussion would be based. First , what is your point of view on relationships. Second , are you single ready to mingle or something like that.

Standard discussion with very interesting results. I will point out some of the them.

1. The crazy dude is not gay.

2. The mature dude isn’t gay too.

3. ” Tharki ” is a very bad word.

4. Almost every men is ” tharki ” .

5. The paranoid is stupid.

6. I am still a bad timer.

The crazy dude talks more than a human is capable of speaking. After everybody else surrendered , It was my turn to face the chu-chu of crazy dude. He talked about various topics. Gave me loads of fundas. One of them was ,” if you talk to a senior , you gain a lot. If you talk to a person of equal stature , you exchange a lot. If you talk to a gadha , you get to know your priorities.” . After talking a length with me about entrepreneurship , he said to me ” you know what , after talking to you , I got to know that I am interested in entrepreneurship”. I still don’t know wether to take this as a compliment or an insult. This statement complicated my pretty simple life. I have a batch mate , you had everything figured out , talking about everything in life like sai baba. And here I was ignorant and lazy. I was depressed beyond imagination. But hopefully after talking to some “gadhas” , my life is back on track. This is the short version of very happening and still boring bengaluru/banglore journey. Sorry the space wasn’t enough to include the angry dude.

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